I am honored, excited and incredibly nervous about this podcast interview being released, it was the most vulnerable I had ever been and honestly it was difficult reliving what had happened as I spoke the words out loud as I was interviewed. It’s definitely another eye opening powerful reminder as to why I am so grateful to have been put on this path.
So many people ask me why would I ever air my dirty laundry or share something so shameful, so personal...I don't ever look at it that way. The way I was living my life was not how anyone should ever have to live their life. I was so hopeless for so long & my hope is that by sharing my real raw journey through this life can give at least one more person the hope they need to keep making it through each day. It use to hurt me when friends or anyone would ask me those things but I know they just don’t understand how truly grateful they should be to never have felt the way I felt or battled those mountains that were in my way for years. I felt so alone as I suffered but once I started sharing my journey I have discovered how many people are suffering horribly behind their smiles as well. Knowing others need to hear my words, need the hope, need the encouragement and need to know they are not alone.
Fast forward to today I am living life completely differently and I feel it is extreamly important I share where I have been and how I have been able to turn things around. Knowing what my struggles were and how I was able to get through them. I remember for many years thinking nothing was ever going to change, nothing was ever going to be better and I felt like I was drowning in a life I didn't want to live. I felt hopeless, lost and was craving a way out. The most exhausting part was hiding it from everyone I could. I remember co-workers telling me how lucky I was to be living the perfect life and how painful that was to smile back and laugh it off. When I ended up reaching my lowest point, that brought on more shame. I didn't want anyone to know how bad it had gotten and after being released from the hospital I carried a heavier burden of shame. I would use for and alcohol to fill that void for years. I spent a good solid six years heavily medicated and thinking I was blessed to be alive, but craving to feel alive. I felt hopefulness and prayed every single day to God the same prayer: Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, & what you can do & please use it for a purpose greater than myself. I questioned him many times thinking was he listening to me, did he hear me after year after year passed by, but I believed I was a live for a reason and God would eventually show me why this all happened.
I use to feel incredibly shameful about my past, my dark battles with depression, personal struggles/hardships through this life, my anxiety taking over daily and for years never did I think I could turn such a painful and shameful time in my life that I fought so hard for no one to know about, to know longer feeling shame...it feels as if a thousand pounds no longer rest upon my shoulders. I now truly feel grateful for my past because without it I would never appreciate my life as much as I do today or be as passionate as I am about helping others along with myself living their best life. I hope my podcast can reach those that need the hope in their life like I was did and I hope they know if I can turn my life around with the right tools, they can absolutely do the same.
I would be honored if you took the time to hear my story or to have you share it with anyone that may need hope in their life like I did. I can not thank Tim Sawhook enough for giving me this opportunity on his podcast called: The Unwritten Life. The Unwritten Life podcast will discuss all the things that people go through in life and the lessons learned from them. The podcast has a strong message: that anything is possible in your life and no matter how deep your pain and failures are that your story is still Unwritten. This podcast is about real people with real struggles and real pain. The guest will share their story of hope and strength with you! I have already been inspired by what I have heard on his podcast, I hope my story can do the same for others: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unwritten-life-podcast/id1346461249?mt=2&i=1000405240310